It may seem strange that I chose this subject, but the issue is such a nagging problem with believers and ministers that I felt I should address it, however briefly.

I've often stood in the funeral home with believing church members while they selected a casket for their loved one. There is such a real pressure to spend too much money at that moment. The expense is one of the main reasons many choose to be cremated rather than buried. I can understand this dilemma.

But money can be saved if things are done differently. We do not need to let the funeral business determine our practice. As sincere as the funeral director may be, it is still his objective and the objective of those over him to make money during the time when people are the most vulnerable. I would not want to demean this honorable profession, but things have gotten way out of hand.

Let me make these practical suggestions:

First, consider having the graveside service for family and perhaps a few close friends before the memorial service. This will reduce the pressure to buy a casket that is too expensive. In fact, as far as I am concerned the cheapest possible casket is appropriate, if things are done this way. The family understands, especially if this is the stated wish of the one who has died. Also, the long ride out to the cemetery in limousines will not be needed for this intimate gathering. Just arrive in your cars and have the kind of service that is meaningful to you led by a pastor or friend. A funeral home person will need to be there to bring the casket, the flowers (if there are some), and to make the proper arrangements with the cemetery, but you have cut down considerably on costs. Also, you may bury your dead sooner this way. I suggest that seeing your loved one at the funeral home is a good thing for the family, but you do not have to rent the funeral room for extra days.

Second, in certain cases a graveside service may be enough. If the deceased does not have any (or very few) friends still living, or if the rest of the family lives far away, this may be the right thing to do.

Third, you may choose to have the memorial service at a church building or another facility that costs less than a funeral home. There is something rather morose about most funeral homes, frankly. The "coronation" of a believer should be a different affair, and brightness and joy should characterize the time together. Let me add that having the memorial in the evening and on a day when more people can come is also advisable. It is increasingly hard for people to get off work for a memorial service. Make it easy on them. You can wait for four or five days if you wish. The church leaders can provide the obituary and any other handouts, saving even more money.

By using the church facilities or another less-expensive meeting place, and by having already buried the deceased loved one, there will be no need for any funeral people to be involved in the memorial service at all. No limousine rides are necessary, or funeral home ushers, etc.

In some cemeteries it will be necessary to purchase an expensive vault to put the casket into when interred. Cemeteries often require this to keep the body dry and the ground from sinking as time goes on. The cemetery may require this, but our theology does not. The other reason for a vault is more emotional. If the family cannot be comfortable without a vault, of course, for emotional reasons, you will have to have one.

It will be a good idea to check with more than one funeral home about burial costs. The fees vary significantly. In fact, we recently found thousands of dollars difference in pricing for the same service between two funeral homes in our area. There will be someone in the family who will be free enough and business-like enough to handle this sort of thing. It is important. Your loved one would not want your hard-earned money to be thrown away just because you were unwilling to check on pricing.

In my view, it is good to spend extra money on a gravestone that communicates well the believer's life message. If you cannot afford a large stone, that is reasonable, but do put some writing on the stone for future readers. In this way your loved one can "preach" for years to come. A gravestone may be purchased and placed on the grave later, in most cases.

If you are considering the costs for your own burial, it will be especially important to write out instructions for your family before you die, if at all possible. In this way you will guarantee that your family will not go overboard in their spending when they are most vulnerable. It will ease their minds.

And remember that God has saved you "in order that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." However humble your funeral, God has great things in store for you.